How to find Lake Gardens in just 7 phone calls!

The Google Map image showing Lake Gardens, Kolkata. A Marks the spot! 

I got a call this noon, from a property builder who wanted me to come to his office for a small commercial real estate related discussion. These days, such calls are hard to come by and I instantly agreed. He asked me to get to Lake Gardens and call him and he would guide me on voice support from there.

The moment I hung up the phone, I got my things packed, got into the car and cranked up the AC and some tunes. And then, as I did a little mental calculation of my route, I realized, like a child who had left behind his pencil box at home on exam day, that I didn't know where Lake Gardens exactly was!

I cooked the clutch of my mental drive but the darn thing wouldn't budge out of the rut. Though I had a fair idea of where Lake Gardens could be, a fair idea while driving alone and on a time schedule does not sound like a very fair idea. So I turned to my trusted old fair weather friend, my cell phone and made + did not make some calls.

#1. The Wife
I decided to call my better half first. She always has an opinion about everything. And a call for help (Audience whistles and demands, "Can you say that again?"), and a call for help to her would also up the brownie points bar quite a bit till next morning. I think the morning tea does some kind of a reset trick on the female brain. Medical research dudes, trust me, there are millions to be made here. So I made that call. She answered after 40 rings and started updating me about various issues. After 7 minutes or so, I had forgotten why I had called her. It was a disaster for Lake Gardens.

#2. The bouncing board, lighthouse and mentor
If there is ever a sticky situation, which means every other day, the first person who gets a call from my number is Deepak, who has another Mafiosi partner (lean, gelled black hair, V6 in the driveway et al) and they run a place called Digital Avenues. BTW had we not had their support, none of this would have reached you. But this afternoon, I chose not to call him. You run a small risk if you call Deepak to run such odd queries through him. I imagined him picking up the phone, hearing out my dilemma and telling me something like, "You should be ashamed of yourself. Conning innocent people with your geographically challenged mind" or something like that. So I quietly thumbed a button on the hand held and his name disappeared.

#3. Daddy
Fathers know everything. They are the ones who will tell you cool things. They happen to carry mental maps of the uncanniest places in the city. Also, they never answer phone calls when you need them most and always call back when you can't speak with them like they want you to. Which means to mostly shut up and listen. So, daddy didn't answer the phone for reasons known only to fathers. I hope he was up to something darn good for he missed a big chance of squashing his son's ego and road rolling it to the ground. Boy am I glad that he does not read this blog.

#4. Jefe
I called up Kaushik back at the office and asked him to help. He is a little technologically challenged but he kept me on hold for 15 minutes, got it all set on Google maps and told me it is a straight road from where I was. Just straight. Surprisingly, just 200 m ahead of me was a 7 point crossing. So I asked again. He gave me the same reply but this time, with the amount of warmth inside a fridge. I said 'Okay, got it' and hung up.

#5. The teacher
Anirban, my first boss, real estate guru or whatever you choose to call him came across as a good candidate for that call. But it was a hoax call. I did that future imagination thing and saw him hear my question, say hello a couple of times and hang up. And not answer my call for the next 3 days simply for such a sacrilege.

Finally a friend, led to another and I got a reply. My hunch was right. I was just one left turn of the road wrong. And that too, the last turn on the route which could not have way led me off too much. I got to Lake Gardens and had my meeting. But the best part of the day, was definitely over.

Heartfelt gratitude to colleagues, friends, family, angry mobs and lost souls. Cheers!
Rahul Mishra

Note: There are no lakes or gardens anywhere to be seen in Lake Gardens as far as I went. But once upon a time, it was a very pretty place, I remember.